#BREAKING: LVMPD introduces its newest feline unit… Meet Officer Mittens 🐾 Highly trained in naps, laser pointer tracking, and ignoring commands. Welcome to the team. pic.twitter.com/UV25hKxegk

— LVMPD (@LVMPD) April 1, 2026

🚨CORRUPT DEEP STATE JUDGE TANYA CHUTKAN JUST GOT HER ASS KICKED OFF THE BENCH FOR GOOD — THE 7TH CIRCUIT COURT OF APPEALS SLAMMED HER FOR RUNNING HER COURTROOM LIKE A PERSONAL ANTI-TRUMP HIT JOB!

This activist hack was the one who rubber-stamped the ridiculous “seditious… pic.twitter.com/Cj2UdGjpf5

— Unmask The SYS (@UnmaskTheSys) April 1, 2026

ACIC releases headwear guidance for Soldiers with Top Secret clearances.

The new Frequency Obstructing Interception Layer (FOIL) covers are designed to mitigate unauthorized SIGINT collection and ensure your thoughts remain on a "need to know" basis.

(Graphic made with AI) pic.twitter.com/KJFdVLIlu1

— Army Counterintelligence Command (ACIC) (@Real_ArmyCI) April 1, 2026

We had a well kept secret 🤫

We worked hard and we have developed the first ever strain of red daffodils!

So what do you think? You want them ?

Should we name them “ Elon Musk” ?

We know that spring is deprived of this color so we fixed it! pic.twitter.com/39b5auPiEA

— Flower Show (@TheFlowerShow) April 1, 2026

Tell your co-op.
Tell your friends.
The LAYSTATION is here 🐾

Engineered with proprietary LAYSYNC Technology, this designated recharge station frees up your keyboard to ensure maximum match focus.

Tag the friend with a ‘hands-on’ teammate 👇

…they might be able to get their… pic.twitter.com/NHXGRKsOQv

— Logitech G (@LogitechG) April 1, 2026

On what occasion would you wear THIS?? 😭pic.twitter.com/Fv5H0Aakev

— Liberta Cherguia 🇪🇺 (@MbarkCherguia) April 1, 2026

Wow. Tucker Carlson just called-wants to come to Jerusalem to share Easter Sunday with me. Said he's been wrong about Israel, Jews, Iran, criticizing @realDonaldTrump & wants to publicly renounce stuff he's been saying and do it right in heart of Israel!

— Ambassador Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) April 1, 2026

🚨#BREAKING: A California Chocolate company has issued a nationwide recall after it chocolate products was spiked with Viagra ingredients. pic.twitter.com/W46M1rF9Tb

— R A W S A L E R T S (@rawsalerts) April 1, 2026

🔥🚨BREAKING: Chick-fil-A in Florida just fired the entire staff featured in this video

pic.twitter.com/9KXmFUiNck

— Dom Lucre | Breaker of Narratives (@dom_lucre) April 1, 2026

Introducing the all-new MSI monitor arm with an attachable cat bed, 90° rotation, customizable RGB, and a built-in heating pad for maximum companion comfort.⁠
⁠
Because your cat already acts like they own your setup, now they can complete it! ⁠
⁠
*Mochi the Cat is not… pic.twitter.com/RJ3eUrAFob

— MSI Gaming USA (@msiUSA) April 1, 2026

Apparently 12 tons of @KITKAT have gone missing in transit between Italy and Poland…

and suddenly everyone’s looking at the one innocent kitty kat having a quiet lie down.

Unbelievable profiling, quite frankly. 🐾🍫

*check the FC’s handbag pic.twitter.com/F4XBbe7hxo

— George The Stourbridge Junction Station Cat (@TheStourbridge) March 31, 2026

NEW: Governor Bob Ferguson will join the show today to apologize for signing the income tax pic.twitter.com/JYoq3kqDOf

— Ari Hoffman (@thehoffather) April 1, 2026