A Ricochet friend did a post about “saving our children” from the malign “transgender movement”. She mentioned the fact that today, many teenage girls don’t like being girls, and maybe that sentiment could explain the popularity of the “transgender” movement. [scare-quotes used to indicate the falsity of transgenderism] I took it a step further, and here are my thoughts on what could be behind this.
Why Many of Today’s Girls Don’t Want to be Girls.
I wonder if the problem is not that they don’t want to be girls, but that they aren’t keen on the feminist’s vision of what girls must be today. Perhaps they are not eager to be an engineer, or a carpenter, or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
Today’s society has nearly totally bought into the feminist version of females, who not only successfully compete with men in the job market, but are simply better than men in all areas of life. Girls are told that they must go to college, get a good job, and advance in their careers to become the head of something. Girls have it drummed into them from childhood that they can be anything they want to be, and if they don’t get there it’s men’s fault, or society’s fault. Girls are told, in school and subliminally in advertising, that getting married, having children, and raising them to be productive members of society is not making use of their best talents-that can only happen when they have a degree and a job on Main Street or Wall Street.
Maybe today’s girls actually want to have a boyfriend (or two), meet Mr. Right, get married, and be a full-time Mom. Maybe they see what society insists they must want, and turn away from that future. They are very conflicted when what they actually want for their lives is continually disparaged by the wider society. Today, they see that the government is doing all it can to get them out of their homes and into paid work, by offering paid family leave and free preschool and child care.
I have always thought that the version of feminism that denigrates men, idolizes women with high-level jobs, and values being a mother to a family much less than paid work, has had a negative effect on society. This level of feminism has led to disastrous consequences for many middle-class men, who see themselves as subservient to women, and devalued; which leads to “diseases of despair”, drug use, and increased suicide.
Today’s girls/women are also presented with two completely opposite views of women. First, they are told that they are “empowered” to do, and be, anything they desire in life. If they want to be an investment banker on Wall Street, they can be one. If they want to be a chemical engineer or and architect, they can go to college, get the degree, and get the well-paying job. On the other hand, they are told that they are the perpetual victims of the “patriarchy”, always looked down upon by men, and are potential rape victims. They are essentially told that they are both winners and victims at the same time. What girl wouldn’t have a hard time processing those contradictory messages?
Maybe Feminism itself is the cause of today’s girls not wanting to be girls.
[originally posted in a slightly different form on Ricochet.com]
Calling-all-RushBabes 
There’s also the Mean Girls aspect.
You’re not really a woman if you don’t do and say what they want you to. The only thing you can hope for, as a woman, is that you’re stuck in middle school/high school, with no monitors on the Popular Girls, forever.
This hits especially hard on “spectrum” type girls, who don’t have the same level of inherent skill with social stuff.
“On the other hand, they are told that they are the perpetual victims of the “patriarchy”, always looked down upon by men, and are potential rape victims.”
Here’s the good news. (For women, that is.)
Women represent 60% of all college undergraduates, advanced degree candidates and earned a substantial presence in corporate America. Two have recently run in presidential elections.
At the same time, my brother (married with three children) and living in the Land of the Blue (CA) told me it has become a status symbol to be a stay-at-home mom because that indicates the husband is financially able to support a family.
Finally, I have read from various sources that transgenderism is most prevalent among men (3-1 ratio) and this makes sense after looking at all the stats. There are indications of a trend that more men are staying at home and avoiding both college and the job market.
Frankly, I am more concerned about males than females! I think we’ve made and continue to make great strides. This has been happening since I graduated from college and I think we’re taking advantage of opportunities left open to us by lethargic men.
I found this post to be most interesting RB and firmly believes it deserves more commentary.
You start?
Actually, I don’t think the fact that 60% of college students are women today is a good thing. Males have been cowed by the militant feminists, and that is a very bad thing. One of the reasons women used to go to college was to find a husband. If the women outnumber the men, and the men that are there, are “pajama boys”, that bodes ill for husband-hunting. I found my first husband in college.
Gosh, I never went to college to find a husband; I had enormous pressure put upon me to succeed financially by my parents. They applied similar standards to both their daughter and son.
I still believe my parents tried to set me up for a good future and I can assure you that NYC (where I met my husband) held high- even snobbish- standards for women!
I think this entire conversation may depend upon geographic and socio-economic environments. We do live in an unusually diverse society after all.
As you point out, your parents pushed you to be successful.
Which is why they said you had to go to college.
Women overwhelmingly want successful men.
Which will be difficult, if college is the best route to success.
My parents are still upset I didn’t go to college…even as they have been commenting since I was in high school that “college” now isn’t “college” as they grew up with it, similar to how high school graduates cannot be counted on to able to read through the back of a cake mix box.
I was able to resist the social pressures involved, both because I had rational reasons and because attempting to cool kid me got burnt out ages ago. 😉 Most of the girls in my grade? They couldn’t resist it. They went to college because they were told that is what you are supposed to do, spent a lot of money, got degrees in stuff that they now don’t use.
“Women overwhelmingly want successful men.”
Well, of course we do but here’s the new reality:
Men want successful women as well and nowhere was that more evident in my first workplace in NYC. Looks, education, career and pedigree. It truly has become a reality and this is nothing new. My husband wouldn’t have given me a second look without certain qualities and neither would I have married him without the same.
Like is attracted to like. What’s unusual about that?
Well, first off, a stat that is only slightly off of “two girls for every boy” is going to make it rather difficult for a woman to make a marriage, which was what I was responding to.
Secondly, we do have marriage stats. Men are much more likely to marry, and stay married, to a woman who has lower levels of education, who doesn’t have a high powered job, etc; it is likely that your sample is somewhat altered exactly because people working in New York in a post-college field are likely to have unusual behaviors. Meanwhile, a husband having a lower level of education and/or less material success is a very large risk for divorce.
Again, makes it so a large sex imbalance in higher education is not a great thing.
“They went to college because they were told that is what you are supposed to do, spent a lot of money, got degrees in stuff that they now don’t use.”
I don’t know any of those women. My best friend graduated first in her class at Michigan’s architecture school, my other friends graduated summa at various med and law schools. Those were hardly nonsensical majors!
P.S. I married at age 34 because I felt like it. I was perfectly successful on my own both financially and socially. I don’t know who you hang out with but it sure ain’t my crowd.
P.S. I married at age 34 because I felt like it. I was perfectly successful on my own both financially and socially. I don’t know who you hang out with but it sure ain’t my crowd.
That is quite obvious, even though I did not comment about those I “hang out with,” I commented on a year sample– specifically, those who graduated high school around the turn of the millennium– and pointed to general trends which can be established by research.
That your friends are similar to you, however, does nothing to deal with the issue of the general population. At least my sample was an involuntary selection that crossed a few demographics and, in fact, involved some of those who were in when more than half of those in college being female was first cheered about.
As you are very obviously defensive about the very subject of marriage, I’m not going to further attempt to engage you rationally on the subject. The passive aggressive nonsense implying that people who are open to marriage at a young age are only doing it for financial or social success, rather than because they found their other half, is unworthy of polite conversation.
“… it is likely that your sample is somewhat altered exactly because people working in New York in a post-college field are likely to have unusual behaviors. ”
That is correct. And I bless my good luck for moving there after college; I met some pretty impressive people.
“As you are very obviously defensive about the very subject of marriage…”
Are you kidding me? I adore the institution but was careful about my choice because I abhor the concept of divorce. Let’s just say I believe in getting it right the first time!
OK, ladies, that’s enough. I admire both of you, for entirely different reasons. The entire Western world is suffering from population decline due to low birth rates, contrary to the Muslim world, which is still producing kids galore. I especially admire Foxfier, for doing her part to reduce that decline! Since I made the decision to remain childless, I told my friends to “have one for me”. Each person makes her own life decisions, which should work for her own situation. Thanks for all your comments!
Mom asked the same for her when I went Navy, since she went teacher instead of WAV, and some days I’m tempted to hand you a couple of the kids– but I get to pick which ones! 😉
I would love to meet all your kids!
The littlest baby you got to hold is working on his typing with video game cheat codes and trying to argue with me on how to read electronic schematics. (He disapproves of those that map the connections, rather than the physical system.)
Tell him that I remember the last time I saw him-with your finger in his mouth! He might groan, but I won’t hold it against him.
Love your attempt to act like the kindergarten teacher but it doesn’t fly with me. No worries because I refuse to be patronized by people I find less successful or intelligent than I.
Your finding is objectively invalid.
In the meantime, you’re friendly with a person who sent me a threatening letter that I registered with my local Sheriff who filed it under “Stalking” and who encouraged me to take action. One more peep out of her ugly mouth and she will be in serious legal trouble.
Who?
Because I’m inches from sending this to Marty, who is my local sheriff— and who even if you are psychotic enough to try to SWAT us, knows my family well enough to not fall for it.
Other than observing you’re a pathetic example of what is commonly noted as “Boomer,” regardless of age, I have done nothing that is not recorded on this site.
I honestly feel for RB, because she obviously respects/respected you enough to defend your bad behavior, and you have betrayed her.
Liz, that comment was un-called for. I am not interested in being denigrated by followers who comment on my blog. Go ahead and un-follow me if that’s what you want to do. Your responses to both me and Foxfier have lowered you a notch in my estimation. This is still my blog, and I retain total control over who comments here. If you can’t be civil to my other commenters, I can, and will, ban you.
As to the person who sent you a threatening letter, I have no idea who that might be, so please do not make that my problem or tarnish me with her behavior.
Shut your mouth. You know nothing.
:laughs in geek:
Oh, sweet summer child, I know a LOT.
Enough to recognize there is so much else to learn.
A thing that may be of use to you– there is quite literally a link that says, on the email for responses:
Want less email? Unsubscribe or modify your Subscription Options.
You want to bear false witness against me that I have threatened you?
Prepare to meet actual competent law enforcement officers.
This may be a shock to you, with your flailing and all.
For spectators:
Chica just implicitly threatened my entire household with fatal force.
Because that is what SWATing is: “here is a death threat, go get them.”
So she just went from “did not agree with me” to “your children are facing lethal threats, because I claim you threatened me lethally.”
If I did not have a good relation with law enforcement in our area, this would be really terrifying.
As one may guess from my addressing of the head law enforcement as Marty, we do have a reasonably good connection.
Which is why I *don’t* speed, etc, because it would embarrass him to pull over someone he knows.
Baka, the on thing I’m embarrassed about in relation to you is that you obviously think 1) we’re stupid and 2) you’re subtle.
Foxfier, I would like to continue this conversation offline. Let’s do that via email or FaceTime. I miss you and the family.
You on mewe?